drain, slowly.
friends.
i hate my insecurity. spending my day with people i do not want to lose relations with, then viewing blogs of people whom i am losing relations with just makes me feel so sad. they were just like the company i have by my side now: we were close, we hoped today will last forever, and we all never thought of drifting apart. and now, the inevitable happens again: we all drift apart again.
i look at their pictures, i read their blogs, i shed a tear cos i miss them alot, i wondered what happened to our friendship, i wonder if i am completely erased from their lives. and i shed a tear because i don't want the same thing to happen to my friends now. i really hope that this time, it'll last longer, if not long.
sometimes i just hate myself for thinking too much, for evaluating the situation to such a high degree. sometimes i hate it that i think i'm a very complex person, that everything is against me, that what people see is my strength that i feel is my weakness. i hate it how i try to understand myself, and everytime i come to a conclusion, i just get confused again.
i hate it how i hate myself.
i hate it how people drift.
i never want to grow up, cos make believe is much too fun.
posted by Myz @ 2:37 AM
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