RANDOM-ISM.

the atiq breaks down.

okay, so what can you conclude when they day that i break down in front of everyone finally came? she totally lost it man, she totally lost it. i never thought she'd break down and cry, she seems so emotionless, so adaptabale and happy. what in the world happened? i don't know but now everyone knows i've been pretending.


i meant to have it tucked away from everyone but i guess kin was right. i bottled too much inside and i'm only human too and thus the point will come when i just can't take it any longer and shall burst out into tears. ryan told me, "don't waste your opportunity, man. you don't want to screw things up like i did" but i really don't know. maybe the opportunity offered isn't the one that i like, or want.


i know what i want, but i know, i just can't get it, yet. and i just don't want to wait any longer. everyday, it just hurts even more to pretend. and it's ironic. people out there now know how i feel and what i want, but they are totally oblivious to it.


i know they meant the best for me, but maybe what they are giving me isn't what i need. and i guess im too chicken shit to tell them. (or maybe the fact that i know things will not change; i'm still choiceless).


howell, seoul garden awaits me in a while. food is comfort. sorry steff, im gonna eat meat today.

posted by Myz @ 11:15 AM