RANDOM-ISM.

and when i look back.

i miss:


my childhood very much. when i didn't dread going to school and when i did, dad will beat me up until i couldn't sleep. i want nights to go back as they used to be, when i sit in the hall playing with whatever toys i have or watching tv or reading a book and then when daddy steps out of the house, i'd cling so tightly but he'll shake me off and go off, slamming the gate behind him and i'll wait by the door until he comes back, always thinking that he's gone out to get those sweet sweet mangoes that i love. i want those people i play with at the playground every afternoon, with no strings attached, knowing each other only by face and my their first name; no promises but mutual hope to see each other the next day again. i want siblings and cousins that i was so close with before: we'd play hide and seek, pretend to be doctors and teachers, and hiding slippers and set out to find them even though there are 13 stories of the block to seek. i want those days when i have the maid to talk to although sometimes we don't see eye to eye, i had someone to talk to. and i miss those days when bestfriends meant forever and then we'd fight but still make up after that and everything's fine.


but everything is just different now. i guess people change and i change. people i used to know are just gone. and people i didn't know are now just shadows in my life, lingering on the ground upon which i stand on.




i wonder if anything's going on between them. she knows so much of him, and he's so mysterious, i get jealous just looking at them.

posted by Myz @ 5:02 PM