RANDOM-ISM.

whatever.

i realise that i tend to reveal my feelings better to people that i'm really not close to, like random people, and usually i reveal them on the way home from outings or gatherings or what nots. i don't know why. but argh, it's just weird.


sometimes when i cross the road, i hope that a vehicle appears and hit me and i'll get into a coma and people will surround my bed talking to me, and i'm listening but i cannot reply them. then maybe they would realise that that's the exact state i am in now: they are talking to me, and i'm just listening but they can never hear my response. you know, sometimes it's nice to have someone to listen to you after listening to so many people again and again.


i'm telling you being nice really suck. i don't get credited for anything i do. be nice at home, only to be defeated by sibling rivalry and selfishness and stupiditiy of the people at home. be nice at school, you just get nothing, not even CIP hours. be nice to my friends, they'll just forget you eventually. i don't get fucking RESPECT anywhere, i don't gain anything anywhere. i try to smile and let go, but really, now it just hurts too much with so many things in my head. i wish she's still alive so all i can think about is her and her same problems again and again, and heck everyone else.


teachers' day concert was a screw up. mcs gathering was fun. and krayon's back. i really don't know how i should feel.


i'm gonna go on HIATUS. or so i think for now.

posted by Myz @ 10:27 PM