i had to
Now that it's time
Now that the hour hand has landed at the end
Now that it's real
Now that the dreams have given all they had to lend
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe try another time
And do I really have a hand in my forgetting?
Now that the hour hand has landed at the end
Now that it's real
Now that the dreams have given all they had to lend
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe try another time
And do I really have a hand in my forgetting?
Now that I've tried
Now that I've finally found that this is not the way,
Now that I turn
Now that I feel it's time to spend the night away
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe finally split the rhyme
And do I really understand the undernetting?
Yes and the morning has me
Looking in your eyes
And seeing mine warning me
To read the signs carefully.
Now that it's light
Now that the candle's falling smaller in my mind
Now that it's here
Now that I'm almost not so very far behind
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe follow another sign
And do I really have a song that I can ride on?
Now that I can
Now that it's easy, ever easy all around.
Now that I'm here
Now that I'm falling to the sunlights and a song
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And do I have to do just one
And can I choose again if I should lose the reason?
Yes, and the morning
Has me looking in your eyes
And seeing mine warning me
To read the signs more carefully.
Now that I smile,
Now that I'm laughing even deeper inside.
Now that I see,
Now that I finally found the one thing I denied
It's now I know do I stay or do I go
And it is finally I decide
That I'll be leaving
In the fairest of the seasons.
-Nico, The Fairest of the Seasons
This is not going to concern most of you, but I'm going to write it anyway.
I'm sorry, but I had to do what I did last night. No doubt I do love you very much, no doubt about it at all, but I really feel that I should be taking a step back, look at the big picture, consider how everyone is feeling and do what I think is best: to learn how to let you go, to start letting you go, to move on and forget that I ever had feelings for you. I'm sorry, but I never really knew how you feel, you never revealed what's in the depths of your heart. Everytime she steps into the picture, my heart aches, and believe me, the heart has long been aching. I cannot carry that burden, and I cannot carry that guilt, that responsibility for your doubt of getting into a relationship because of me. I cannot stand to think that someone else's heart is aching because you don't want mine to do so.
That is why I am making this sacrifice, though I think the word "sacrifice" itself sounds too harsh in this matter. I just want you to be happy, I want her to be happy. And hey, we can still be friends and I'll be happy for you. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright, I'll learn to be alright, and I hope one day I'll find another person, someone as good as you, or even better, someone I can learn to love with all of my heart as I had for you. Smile for me, please. Please don't do anything stupid. I do love you, Sharul Azman. But I guess it's time that I let go, and if you are holding on too, and for you to let go too.
I'm so so so sorry.
"You are the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold on to. Goodbye to you."
posted by Myz @ 11:22 AM
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