sunday again
2 more sundays before school starts. i am estatic.the gig at esplanade's waterfront last night was fantastic. too bad nurul wasn't there, or else she'd have enjoyed it alot.
i'm really glad i made friends with farid and nurul. i mean, i am glad i have shan and jerald and reen and uncle bob to talk to, but i'm extra glad farid, nurul and myself got really close and stuff. well, especially nurul. ;)
i don't quite talk to my family, i guess. this family is a rather passive family. well, some people say we look really happy together but then again i just don't know. it confuses me, you know. i wished there are times that i just don't think about them at all in one day and just don't care, but that cannot be made possible, now can it?
some things just saddens me, and it saddens me even more because i try to do something about it but it's not working, and i feel so helpless and lost i wish i never really saw it happening at all.
(after this comes a whole load of junk which i wrote in white and put in "tiny" font size so highlight it if you haven't got anything productive to do and want to read it. it won't concern the anyone reading this blog anyway cos i am certain the person i intend this paragraph to doesn't even read this stupid page.)
and to YOU. i'm not sure if you are reading this or not, i mean since you have my link but you never leave a tag, and you're hardly online anymore. i am so confused of how you want me to feel, of how you are feeling and if everything you said even meant a thing. the thing is, i'm not yours and you are not mine, so i don't know if MY feeling jealous and all that can be justified cos i am so in love with you. sometimes you say things that make me feel so sad, but then again i can't be feeling sad because we are not together, your heart isn't really mine to keep and take care, and neither is mine. sometimes i wish you'd yell at me and say things that really really really really hurt me even more than right now and tell me to move on so i'll just move on even though i don't really want to. it's been 2 years, damn it. 2 years and i'm still holding on to something that i'm not even sure exists in the first place.
i found a new bulletin board for media lovers like me. :) check it out here: Youth Media Circle.
posted by Myz @ 2:19 PM
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