when i'm bored. (#10)
life is made such that it's not fair, sometimes, or even most of the time. and we cannot do a thing about it because if there is fairness in everything we do, and equality for everyone, the world will be perfect, there won't be any empathy, love or compassion.
sometimes i feel that it is unfair how much credit i recieve for doing favours for people. and some of the favours they do not even know of. it's like being stabbed in the back. you do so much for one person, and then you get the blame for everything. and sometimes the blame is way beyond control, to such an extent that you become confused, almost jeapordised, of what to do next: drop the favour and ruin the ties, or continue with it and bear the burden on your own.
i don't know what the hell i am talking about. i guess, i am just bored. and confused. of what to wear for my interview. nyeh heh.
when i'm bored. (#09)
5 things that i don't think you know about me:
1) i appear to be a very sociable person, but deep deep down, i am a shy person. the only reason i appear sociable is because i don't want to appear afraid and vulnerable and everything that goes along with those two.
2) i have tangles in my hair so complicated i'll never get them right. (metaphorically)
3) although i seem to wish it so often that i could turn back time, i wouldn't know what i would change in my past, apart from my weight problem.
4) i would never ever want to be alone, though it seems i love to dwell in my solitude and find bliss in ignorance.
5) i think all we ever need is a lot of love and candle-light.
job interview tomorrow. though i really want to get that relief teaching job. heh heh. i love kids. not. i just need income. if only we don't have to grow up, then all these things wouldn't be of matter.
PEOPLE DONATE TO THE DNA FUND.
when i'm bored. (x'mas issue)
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it.
i am still sleepy but jo's xmas lunch thing is in 1 hr and 45 mins, so i really shouldn't go back to bed. hmm, i've got a video camcorder now. it's rather weird when i don't ask for things and i tend to get them out of the blue. like the digital camera, and the laptop, and the new JVC DF570 video camcorder. well, might as well be very appreciative instead of ranting on things that i don't have. (like a Creative Zen Neeon, a minifridge in my room, and a pet cheetah)
ya, so anyway, to prevent me from sleeping:
Put an 'x' which applies to you:
(x) i have a cell phone
( ) i am an only child
( ) i am a shopaholic
(x) i have smoked a cigarette before
( ) i have done drugs
(x) i love cold weather
(x) i can't live without music
( ) i have no tolerance of ignorant people
( ) i'll be in this town forever
(x) i've been to 5 other countries
(x) i have more than a few horrible memories
( ) i am addicted to chocolate
(x) i love airplane rides
( ) i love taking pictures
(x) i can be mean when i want to
(x) my parents care about my grades
(x) one of my best friends is a guy
(x) i am easy to talk to
( ) i hate when people are late
( ) i have too many clothes in my closet
(x) i love to sleep
(this is when i get the chance to. heh)(x) i wish i was smarter
( ) i HATE drama
(x) i love acting
( ) i never fight with my parents
(x) i can't control my emotions
(x) i have moved on more than once
( ) i truly care about my friends
(x) i love to draw
(x) i love my computer
( ) i love people who sing
( ) i'm a happy person
( ) i love to dance
(x) i love to sing
( ) i love cleaning my room
( ) i tend to get jealous very easily
( ) i love school
(x) i love night better than day
(x) i have been on the phone for over 5 hours
(x) i don't like to study for tests
(it's not that i don't like. i just don't.)( ) i am too forgiving
(x) i miss elementary school
( ) i love chocolate kisses
( ) i love the color pink
( ) my eye color changes
( ) i become stressed easily
( ) i hate liars!
( ) i LOVE comfy sweatpants
( ) i can play the piano
(x) i love the smell of rain
( ) i love my family
(x) i hate the feeling of failure
(x) i have friends in other countries
(x) i know how to cook
(x) i can speak another language
(x) at times i can be quite selfish
(x) at times, i still act like a little kid
( ) i LOVE Babies
(x) i have problems with letting go of old memories
(x) i lost someone
( ) i hate being alone
(x) i love someone
( ) i love the weekends
(x) i can type with one hand
(x) i have bad memories
( ) i go to school
(x) i sing in the shower
(x) i already experienced camping
( ) i usually get what i want
(x) no one knows the full story of my life
( ) i am close with my parents
(x) i love to read
(x) i wish i was more motivated for school
( ) i hate myself
ARGH ENOUGH LA. (actually that's the end of it.) merry xmas again, bitches.
when i'm bored. (#08)
wow. i have reached post number 08 of the "
when i'm bored" series. let's see how many i can do until i get sick of it and really post blogs with proper titles and substantial issues. nyeh.
oh well, in the mean time, i shall post a blog like one of those "
what i did yesterday/what i am going to do today/ what yada yada yada things" blogs which i never seem to fail to stumble upon everytime i blogsurf when i'm bored. here goes.
YESTERDAY!!!!!! (wahahaha, this is tickling my stomach already.)woke up at 11.30, laze around trying to get some more sleep (as i slept at 5.30 am) but a few buggers in my phonebook love me so much they have to call me and deprive me of such luxury. so, there goes tryinna get some more sleep. so anyhows, logged on into msn for a while to see no one online (i think, i can't remember cos i have a memory span of a fish) so i decided to get out of my room and disturb my sister and then go and shit or something but then i saw my mom on the phone so i dumped the idea aside because i see VEGETABLES on the kitchen table. mom was cooking lunch yesterday!! but too bad i couldn't taste her good cooking (0k la, not bad. fried chicken and some mixed vege thing. who can't cook that.) because i was gonna go out to meet Farid, Reen and Naz. so i went to shiat. then i decided to bathe as well. but then before bathing, i decided that it's been too long since i washed the toilet so i scrubbed the toilet clean before bathing. then, a long shower, and a longer time to get ready. and thus, this explains why i am the one late this time instead of Farid. (i'm not gonna use the "you cannot rush perfection" excuse because i know myself better. joke?)(i realise it's really boring, but i am determined to finish it off! wahahahhahahaha.)so met Farid at the interchange. then took the bus to Orchard. then while on the bus, his gf got on with her mom. (her mom really cares for her. she was sending farid's gf to work. TAKING THE BUS. my mom can drive but won't send me anywhere.) a couple of ex-bwnians got on but i don't think they recognised me. but wtf, as if i talked to them when i was sharing the same campus as them. so on the way reen called and said to meet them and we'll have lunch together instead of joining them later so yeah, that's what we did. (d'oh. do i really have to say that when we arrived at orchard we went to meet reen and then we went to eat?) ate at the top floor of FEP and then went to the basement for dessert. loffly mars attack BALLS which were freaking hot when reen stuffed one into Naz's and Farid's mouth. haha. they were like 2 idiots fanning their ball-stuffed mouth. then went to McCafe to chill for a while. when i'm out with reen, it's basically walk, shop, drinks, ciggs and more walk, shop, drinks and ciggs. (she smokes, not me. and drinks refer to Coffee Bean, Starbucks, McCafe and Green Tea) i kept on playing with the lighter and burning the plastic cups and naz and reen kept on reprimanding me because i am killing the ozone layer. but they were killing me. (passive smoker=higher chance of dying. maybe i should start smoking.) then we got so bored we started reciting cheers from Bring it On, singing old old old pop songs and campfire songs. and in the end we all listened to our mp3 players. then we got bored and went to shop at zara, topshop and forever21. and then went to chill and smoke again at the staircase beside taka garden because it was raining. (and d'oh, the seats at taka garden were wet.)(bored yet? i am.)orchard was so crowded like oh my goodness i can cry because i really hate crowds. so rain stopped, we walked to paragon to say hi to farid's gf. at the traffic light me and reen were like singing along to those christmas songs they put below the trees. ppl were staring, naz was walking away and the red man turned green so we walked into a lot of people and into paragon and said hi to farid's gf. after that, a long and heart-lifting walk to dhoby ghaut. (i'm getting sick of this so i'm gonna make the journey home simple.) reached dhoby ghauht wait for the mrt, mrt came took to harbourfront so we can have seats, alighted at sengkang and cab-ed home. FINITO!sheesh, that was only for yesterday. i really don't know how people do that "what i did today" thing on their blogs. it's really, urm, shallow? i don't know. it's just eww.
so, hahaha, for
today!
i am going out for lunch with the family. (
wtf, the family?! ah, yes, the family.)
when i'm bored. (#07)
i was so bored yesterday, i drew the body of a ballerina and coloured her ballet shoes and her tutu using my Red Earth Peach-Pink Colour Lip Gloss. and tadaa! there it is. my ugly work. out of boredom.
well, if that deemed unproductive, i read all my past posts from my old blogs. and i had quite a good time laughing at myself for my immature writing when i was at the age of 15 (i think). then, after the sweet 16 onwards i realise how deep i've grown and i can't believe it that i'm posting redundant stuffs again right now. amazing how boredom transforms you. hah.
anyone wants to donate to the "ATIQ WANTS TO GO TO GERMANY BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE 880$ FOR HER FLIGHT TICKET" fund? because i really want to go to munich and Uncle Amin says that all i need is my flight ticket and expenses cos he'd provide lodging for me. i know my parents will NEVER sponsor for such a thing, so that means i can go and blurdy dream, because raising 880dollars by Jan is impossible. but it's okay, i like staying at home and sitting in my room talking to myself and drawing and colouring using my make-up set while everyone is out at work or at school and when they come back, everything is pretty much the same: everyone does their own stuff and i'll still be in my room, drawing and colouring with my make-up set and talking to God-knows-who. sounds like fun, i'll stay in bleeding Singapore. -grins-
when i'm bored. (#06)
thanks to my cousin taufit, i am stuck to this song called Cinderella by Radja. and the song is really about the fairytale Cinderella, only that it's in Bahasa Indonesia. well, quite a catchy tune. to those who understand, i present you,
Cinderella by Radja:
Ada sebuah kisah
Tentang dara jelita
Hidup slalu penuh
Dera dan siksa
Datang sebuah berita
Tentang adanya pesta
Pangeran mencari permaisurinya
Cinderella pun tiba
Dengan kereta kencana
Sepatu kaca hiasi kakinya
Semua mata terpana
Akan kedatangannya
Pangeran jatuh cinta padanya
Waktu terus berganti
Dentang jam pun berbunyi
Cinderella pergi
Cinderella cinderella
Cinderella pun tiba
Dengan kereta kencana
Sepatu kaca hiasi kakinya
Cinderella pun tiba
Dengan kereta kencana
Sepatu kaca hiasi kakinya
Semua mata terpana
Akan kedatangannya
Pangeran jatuh cinta padanya
if you want a translation, go to the freaking library and take out the book on fairytales by Hans Christian Anderson and read the one on Cinderella. d'oh.
ooh, i got 2 new striped tops! thanks to my Lem and my Chop for accompanying me and wasting time with me outside home. see ya all on friday again my men. (actually one's a woman, but wth la)
and Thanks so much nurul for removing my link cos if he knows of this space, i'll just DIE.
see, my posts are irritangly LOW IQ-ed. i like green anyway.
when i'm bored. (#05)
CHANCES. that is one thing most of us are afraid of taking. taking chances. the whole "
future" thing is a mystery, whether or not you believe in dreams, fortune tellers, premonitions and stuff. and i guess this
uncertainty is exactly what makes me people afraid: they are afraid that they'd be taking the wrong turn, making the wrong decisions, sacrificing the wrong things.
therefore, people study
HISTORY. look back into time, learning the mistakes other people had done, observing the things that other people used to do and try to adapt it to their current situation. sometimes history benefits them, other times people just get even more afraid that history is going to repeat itself. some people look into history just to focus on the most glorified years and feel good about themselves, and sometimes people look into the worst period of time to mock others. but hey,
they all took CHANCES all the same.
i admit, quitting jc is definitely altering the history that my mom and my dad and my brother had made. it's a huge chance that i'm taking. i don't know what poly has in store for me, or what my future is going to be like, but i am taking that chance. of course, in due time, i'll take a look back into what i had had before: my childhood years, the growing up stage in primary school, days i spent in secondary school and of course, the short period of time in CJ. i'll take a look, and each time i do that, i won't know how i'll feel. because i believe
everyone has chosen to keep certain memories intact in their heads and leave others behind, or even tampered with. memory is a tricky thing. it's really biased. and sometimes it fades away. away. away. away. away.
some people believe that there is one angel out there for everyone. the one that looks over you, that looks after you, that ensures you are safe and happy and all that shit. but i believe that the only angel that really looks out for you is you. and of course God, if you believe in a higher power.
"dreams are telegrams from another world"
when i'm bored. (#04)
and that was one holiday without a single picture taken using my digicam. i told daddy to finish off the remaining film in the SLR and he brought his own mini-SLR and finished another roll of film and the brother brought along his digicam, so i just gave up charging the batteries and using my digicam since we already have so many cameras.
the trip was unusually weird. there was the
ENTIRE family, granna, dad's mom (
nyayi, we call her), uncle harry's mom-in-law; i had been having a very bad bladder the whole time i was there; daddy kept on asking the cab drivers if they have had their lunch/dinner; my brother kept on tickling my youngest sister; i dragged myself to Petaling Street; granna thought she heard us but really we weren't there; granna developed very expensive taste; nyayi was eyeing a
RM800++ handbag.. the entire trip was just so freaking weird.
so, during the long bus ride, i realised that i should ammend my christmas wish-list. nyehahahaha.
the ammended x-mas wishlist.
1) still LOADS of tops.
2) 40GB external harddrive.
3) Creative Zen Neeon.
4) sidebag big enough to fit lappy.
5) GRAPHIC DESIGN MAGS.
6) SVA plat award. :))
7) optical mouse for lappy.
8) ORIGINAL photoshop CS2.
9) 64MB Olympus xD-Picture Card.
10) a new set of 4 GP 2300 rechargable batteries with the charger.
and these people better make an arrangement to go out with me soon. it's been too long. (its either that or i just miss you la. -grin la grin-) :
1) SOWMYA AND SELENE.
2) ZARA KOK.
3) NURUL, FAIZ, FARID, KAK AIN, SYAZANA, the other ATIQAH.
4) REEN AND BB.
5) BACK4/MEASELS FAM.
6) FSV FAMILY.
see what boredom can do to me:
CREATING MANY MANY MUNDANE POSTS.
that bugger of NURUL had to put up the disgusting photo of me with a lemon in my mouth on her blog. howell, i still love her the same. :))
when i'm bored. (#03)
i finally think that ryan, sharul, kin, rahs, sunny and dil are right: that i am so concerned about making others happy and satisfied that i forget myself and hurt so deep inside; that i try not to be selfish to others but i am so so so awfully selfish to
myself.
i guess change is an inevitable thing. all around me i see people transform to things i can never imagine them to be. i see family turning into strangers and going distant, and certain friends are no longer acquintances but merely passerbys in my life. i hate to think that all that i've done for them were left in vain, and that they are taking me for granted. but sometimes i can't help feeling that way. a simple "thank you" would mean so much to me, really. but no, we no longer sit down and talk, we no longer look each other in the eyes and say what we really mean. nothing really works that way anymore. no, such relationships are limited to boyfriends and girlfriends.
anyway, suaidah, didn't i tell you that i love your company? and maybe you? ;p
he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! he thinks i am cute! yeayyyyyy. :D
when i'm bored. (#02)
UNCLE BOB IS GOING TO OSAKA AND MEET EMMA AND AUNT JULIA! blah, i also want.
thanks reen for early dinner at magik wok and the chocolate cream from starbucks yesterday. and i know you love me for my company and for bringing back your shoe. heh. can't wait for sleepover tomorrow. :))
am finally done with the
21 book covers that i have to design for my uncle. and i managed to make space! well, it involved deleting ALL of my songs from my mp3 player and then saving the covers in it. and the HUGE files lagged my lappy terribly. so now all that is done, i know
what i want for christmas:1) LOADS OF TOPS.
2) a Creative Zen. or any other mp3 player that has a larger space than my current one. (which is pathetically small)
3) a new side-bag. one that's large enough to lugg my lappy.
4) EXTERNAL HARD-DRIVE.
5) new optical mouse for my lappy.
6) a whole year's worth of bus and mrt travelling. :D
7) SVA platinum award. (fsv will surely want the same thing)
8) my two front teeth. (only reen knows)
i hope i'll get my TABLET today. ok, back to making xmas cards.
my posts are annoyingly mundane.
when i'm bored. (#01)
as proof that i am missing
Zara Kok, Vice-President of FSV Society, i hereby present the two pictures of the graphics we fell in love with while we were browsing at the graphic design section at Kinokuniya about three weeks ago. (i recall that i thai-expressed with linshan on that day after PW-ing)
therefore, Zara Kok, when you get back from lovely holiday (and i'll be somewhere in midst of the business and the sky-scrapers in KL)
, you better tag something on my board other than "Yeknom the Hamkey Monkster" (this is my stuff toy that Jerald bought for me from HK i think. the one that FSV casually baptised Yeknom while we were filming for SVA at my house.) and then we shall meet again before the chalet so we can go and plan it properly and get our black rose-shaped earstuds. :) i miss you la, can? (hah, this sounds so.. CJCian.)
my blog is getting mundane because i am school-less and i have a lot of time to waste right now. so the posts are rather, BLEAH-ish. can't wait to get my mousepad of a tablet so i can start on the graphics for that book my uncle is going to publish. :D
till the next time i am feeling bored again, people of the world.
ryan thinks i look hot. and dil thinks i look like his aunt who is younger than him and he's in love with. okay, someone explain to me how does a girl in tudung look hot? i mean, other than perspiring in the hot sun because you are all covered that kind of hot.
by the way, that is my kecoh partner, NURUL SUAIDAH. the one that threatens to chop me whenever she's with HER lem partner. yepp. NURUL YOU BETTER FEATURE ME IN YOUR BLOG LIKE I FEATURED YOU IN MINE. heh.
travelling with an adult ezlink card is EXPENSIVE STUFF. 5 days and i have used up 11 dollars worth of bus and train rides. gah.
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, PLEASE DONATE TO THE DNA FUND. THANK YOU. :)
altering history.
history has made it as such that they went to Pre-University and then to the University. history has made it as such that he undergone Junior College and then to the University. and now, history's about to change.
i am the girl who crushed my parent's dream of having each and every living child of theirs to go through Junior College and then University for i am not smart enough to clear those supplementary papers which were supposedly easier so that i can promote to year two. but no, i am dumb, people of the world, i really am. i didn't ace it, i didn't clear it so here i am, a failure. tomorrow shall be the day i go back to Catholic Junior College (shame i can't call it my alma mater in the future) for one last time to return my ugly yellow library card, and hand over the withdrawal form and withdrawal letters and get the formalities all done. and then all that i shall have left of CJC is the collar pin that was supposedly blessed by Father Leslie.
i won't lose my friends, i hope i won't. i know i won't. at least, with the FSV-ers i know i won't. the bond is different. unlike so many others that i have forged. and this time, i shall say forever and mean it.
so in the meantime,
any pri sch kid out there needing math/english tuition??
