RANDOM-ISM.

CORRUPTION EXPOSER.

whoo, i'm loving this site: CORRUPTION EXPOSER. click on it. you'll love it too. heh.


this blog, like many other blogs, will be idle and lifeless. because i think i am going back to my natural self: the depressed, think deep, think death, think "the world's out to get me life is so fucking unfair", the "no one takes me seriously", the "damn i am just a fucking clown to everyone", the "no one appreciates me" person. really, everyday whenever i try to think that my glass is half-full instead of half-empty or that God is watering his plants instead of depriving us with the perfect weather, i fail ok? i just fail. and when i try to think about the amazing, caring people that i have around me, i just end up reminding myself of my incompetency, my loneliness in the end of it. really, how many of you who actually reads this know the real me?


NONE OF YOU. i don't even know myself. i scare myself sometimes. i'm a wreck, but i hate to think that i am. i am needing a fucking psychiatrist/psychologist/whatever but i hate to think that i have to succumb to that kind of solution to get a grip of myself. i tell myself not to do stupid things like slashing my wrists, but my hand just blatantly takes over my mind, my brain no longer controls my limbs, my blood flows freely out of my skin. and things that i tell myself to do for my own good, i just don't give a damn about it and procrastinate or break my pact or something. i am a liar to myself. i am a liar to my family. i am a liar to my friends. i am a liar ok?


and if you ever happen to ask me if i am alright and i say yes, NO I AM NOT OK.


the internet's a blessing. you can just lie your feelings. you can hide how you really feel because no one can see your face. so i can say "HEY TODAY WAS GREAT. I HAD SO MUCH FUN!" when i'm crying my heart out right in front of the screen.


** (randomismonity)

-a bunch of sisters talking.-


me: you see, she laughs at me and when she has a problem, she comes crying to me.


ikee: eh you know, my friend cried in class once describing her nightmare about the tsunami.


mir: what a loser. don't be friends with her ever again ok?






i told you i'm not ok.

posted by Myz @ 11:05 AM